Damaged
by IlovemyDeanBean
Summary: Lana finally tells someone how she feels, Lex attempts to come to terms with his new feelings.


The shadows danced back and forth. He sat there at this desk, watching  
the curtains flow, fall like her dress.  
  
He sat at his desk, smirking with the thoughts in his head, the images in  
his mind, the way she blushed when he called her name.  
  
Lex sat in the dark, watching the shadows dance.  
  
******************  
I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes  
Don't always say, what's on my mind  
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy  
But I don't wanna mess up this time  
******************  
  
"I hate to ask..." Chloe knocked on the door quietly,"But you've been sort  
of..not yourself today, and it's.."  
  
Lana turned over on her back, pursing her lips in the room the Sullivans  
had emptied out for her. Her new life."I..I don't know, Chloe. I don't know  
what to say, or what to even tell you".  
  
"This doesn't have to do with Lex Luthor, does it?" the blond asked, sitting  
down on the edge of the bed slowly."That was weird, you two".  
  
Lana shook her head, her eyes tearing up.  
  
"I thought so"  
  
******************  
And I really really really care  
And I really really really want you  
And I think I'm kinda scared  
Cos I don't want to lose you  
******************  
  
No one wanted to talk to him. The servants seemed to just tip-toe around  
the study, only coming in to quietly slip more bottles of brandy onto  
his desk, eyes darted to the floor.  
  
He wanted to scream. Wanted to grab someone's wrist, feel his fingers  
pressed against flesh, whisper into someone's ear.  
  
But Lex sat in the dark, the fear pounding in his chest like a million  
birds. He sat in the dark, and didn't bother to close his eyes. Everytime  
he closed his eyes, and tried to think, he saw her shadow. Skin glowing  
under her dress. Her heart racing in her chest so loud he could hear  
it himself.  
  
The way her wrist felt so bird like under his fingers.  
  
*********************  
If you really really really care  
Then maybe you can hang through  
I hope you understand  
It's nothing to you  
**********************  
  
"He's your best friend." Lana muttered," But he's...I've put so much into  
something I guess was never there. It was all in my head-"  
  
"He's had a crush on you since forever" Chloe strecthed her long legs out  
in front of her, and tucked them back under herself."Give Clark a chance".  
  
Lana shook her head."He was the one thing that was always there for me.  
And now, now he's not anymore. I can't even start to count all the times  
he's let me down, or hurt me even, Chloe" her bottom lip started to   
quiver,"I need something stable".  
  
"Like Whitney?"  
  
"Like Lex"  
  
*********************  
My heart's at a low  
I'm so much to manage  
I think you should know that  
I've been damaged  
*********************  
  
He tucked the pictures away. Lex looked down at the desk drawer where he'd  
tucked the pictures of his mother, of his ex-girlfriends, of the wife he   
once had, of the people he'd let into his life who ended up hurting him.  
  
Lex threw the bundle into the fire, letting the last empty brandy bottle  
fall to the floor.   
  
Everything else made since. The way no one ever wanted to be with him. The way  
he had to buy love, the way he had to buy his respect in Smallville.  
  
Lex watched the pictures curl under the heat, and closed his eyes one last time.  
  
This time he tried hard to forget the way Lana came up to him at the Tallon. The  
scary new bravery she had in her eyes, the way she touched his hand. He tried hard  
to forget the way she drew her fingers across his cheek, looking deep into his eyes  
when Clark came into the cafe.  
  
Lex swallowed hard. Stomach acid and brandy lingered in his throat. No one made him  
nervous. No one made him giddy. There was no one that made him feel like he felt right  
then, and it scared him more than he ever imagined.  
But no matter what he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Lana. And wishing he could  
have reacted. Wished he could have kissed her back, told her it was alright, her coming   
on to him was cute, but juvienelle. That if anything..  
  
He would ask first.  
*******************  
I'm falling in love  
There's one disadvantage  
I think you should know that I've been damaged 


End file.
